The Lord’s been working on my heart a lot, I mean a lot, lately and I am so grateful! I’ve tried to get back to my mornings with Him but I will admit that being still is not something I do easily in the mornings. It’s when my brain is racing at full speed, probably slightly stimulated by those five cups of coffee, but the computer and work and the phone and Facebook keep whispering in my ear, “Come hither, just for a second…”. Ugg, it’s hard to escape! But I’m working on it.
This morning, I read and drifted and read and drifted, and finally just stopped. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and something (or Someone) told me to go drive. I do that occasionally at sunrise but it’s been a while since I took the time so I just grabbed the keys thinking what have I got to lose. As I drove my usual routes, I would turn one way and see the sun was doing something great over on another road, but I’d get there and it was hidden behind the trees. Good gracious, you’d think I’d have the timing down pat by now on where to be when. But I’d then see it coming up over another set of trees thinking I could get there at just the right time, I’d race there, and again, it was hidden. I just couldn’t see it the way I wanted to see it. I did this so many times, while the neighbors think I’m stalking them, on so many roads, and began to get frustrated. I decided to head back home praying as I drove, “God, show me what You want me to see.”
Then, as I passed the very place I started, His magnificence took my breath. I pulled over… finally, stillness and silence and tears. The two women out walking probably thought I was having a breakdown but I just pointed at the sunrise as they stopped to look too, as if they’d not seen it before that moment although they’d been walking right beside it. As they eventually walked on, I sat and imagined the warmth of that sun, that Son, all the way to my bones and let me tell you, it felt good. My spirit and heart and soul and body needed that.
The realization came to me that this is so like me, maybe like some of you, chasing what I think He wants me to see or do, where I think is best, chasing MY vision, when in fact, it’s not about me or us at all. What He wants us to see is often right in front of us and we fly past it seeking more, seeking better, thinking “nah, that’s not it, it’s up ahead surely…” when often we’re right where He wants us to be.
Just a morning drive can do wonders….
Coming back home, this is what I see in our fields behind the house… a great ending to a great drive.
Finding My Bootstraps... 